When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
