i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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