I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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