I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
