its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
