i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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