Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
