I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
