At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
