I think my vagina is haunted
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
