my phone cant type all the emotion im having
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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