...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
