the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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