Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
