I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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