so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
