Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
