ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
