My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
