Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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