So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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