I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
