So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize