You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
