You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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