Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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