Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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