we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
