I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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