actually, I'm a sock model
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
