if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
