I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I take back everything I said about communal showers
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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