YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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