My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize