I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
