dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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