You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
