I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
