Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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