and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize