I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
