Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
