it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
