I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize