my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
