if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
