I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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