i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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