his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
