Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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