You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
