I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
