Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
