I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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