fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He had one of those small greek statue penises
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
