I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
