part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
