Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
