It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
