Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
