You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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